Remembering the Past, Appreciating the Now Friendship
Remembering the Past, Appreciating the Now Friendship
  • 경남타임즈(경남대학교)
  • 승인 2022.06.23 11:08
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Just recently, I lost someone important to me, and needless to say I was not in the right space for a couple of weeks. Naturally, I told my friends about what happened, and it was comforting how annoyingly supportive people are when you let them know you on a personal level; in fact, having a group of close friends you trust parallels with having your own personal community or support. The feeling of being supported had me relishing the thought about how I ever became friends with these people and how did we become so close; also, those past friendships I had but no longer kept in contact with. Usually, I try not to dwell much on how friendships are formed, but this time I would like to journey down memory lane. For those who have known me for a long time or short time, making friends was never easy for me. In high school, I stuck with the “Asian group” which, by the way, was only me and another person [there were other people as well…because of reasons]. Safe to say, as a teenager getting ready for university, I was ready to start a new chapter of my life with new friends and experiences-- why would I ever go back to high school? Once in university, oblivious me was increasingly concerned with only having a very few friends [just like in high school] and decided to do something about my little “dilemma”. After a bizarre judgment call, I joined a fraternity [something I thought I would not do in my lifetime]. Being part of a fraternity was interesting only because you meet and talk with the same people for the next three years of your life and you wonder if you really do become friends with them and stay in contact with life after university. Fast forward to the present, having gone through multiple jobs and meeting different co-workers, strengthening friendships has become increasingly valuable and essential in my everyday life. As each year passes, I am drawn ever Remembering the Past, Friendship Appreciating the Now Kyungnam Times ● 29 increasingly to the prospect of keeping the friends I have known for a while and cutting ties with those I have not connected with– quality over quantity essentially. I wish I could go back to my university days and tell my former self, “You cannot be friends with everyone you meet” or “Not everyone is going to like you and you are not going to connect with every single person, because it is legitimately impossible”. All the wasted energy on forging relationships that never came to fruition is another way of exhausting yourself emotionally and physically, and that affects your way of living. When you spend so much effort trying to earn someone else’s friendship and it fails, you cannot help but start thinking about the ‘whys’ and ‘why nots’ which can eventually lead to your self-esteem taking some hard blows. It took me a while to figure out that my actions do not to be justified to create friendships with people; for those said reasons, it also meant refusing to sacrifice my individuality and compromising my characteristics for another’s “friendship”. There is only so much conforming you can do for people, and you cannot expect the same thing in return. Even now I still catch myself same repetitive pattern of servitude while expecting something in return, but now I can stop myself and say that I am acting crazy, and I need to prioritize what I actually want. With that said, I have enormous gratitude for the friends I have managed to keep along the way; including those, I no longer keep in contact with sadly. Having the chance to meet many diverse people, who have many personalities and characteristics, has really expanded my worldview on differences and situations I never thought were possible. Regardless, the friends I have now, I wish to keep forever. They motivate me to be a better person, they also indulge my sense of humor and antics; most importantly, they are there in times of sadness and bewilderment. Without them, I would not be where I am now and wherever I will be doing in the future. To them, I say thank you for putting up with me so far. I hope we all continue to push each other to be better in the future and continue to support each other no matter where we end up in this tiny, chaotic world

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